[Movie Review] Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

Posted on August 8, 2014 by thegrandshuckett in Movie Reviews // 1 Comment

Director: Jonathan Liebesman

Writers: Josh Appelbaum, Andre Nemec, Evan Daugherty

Runtime: 101 min

Main Cast:

Will Arnett as Vernon Fenwick
Megan Fox as April O'Neil
Alan Ritchson as Raphael
Noel Fisher as Michelangelo
Pete Ploszek as Leonardo
Johnny Knoxville as Leonardo (voice)
Jeremy Howard as Donatello
Danny Woodburn as Splinter
Tony Shalhoub as Splinter (voice)
William Fichtner as Eric Sachs

Review: by Anthony and Lee

Michael Bay's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie where they have lips and look like pure nightmare fuel has finally arrived, yet while it seems insane to want to torture ourselves by watching it, our childhood nostalgia made its demands known. We had to see it.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TMNT) told the story of April O’Neil, a street reporter for Channel 6 News whose desires to be taken serious lead her to attempt to break open the story of the recent robberies committed by the Foot Clan. In her search for something newsworthy, she incidentally stumbled upon a huge story, a vigilante who was secretly thwarting Foot Clan activity. When no one believed her story, April only became more committed to unveiling the mystery of the vigilante. What she didn’t expect was for there to be four of them, and she definitely didn’t expect them to be ninjas who also happened to be mutant turtles and teenagers. In her fervor to uncover the truth about these ninja mutant turtle teenagers, April found herself in the middle of huge trouble. Of course, it was up to the turtles to save the day.

What We Liked:

The best compliment that we can give this movie is that it wasn’t as bad as we expected it to be. We were quite frankly horrified by the appearance of the iconic turtles as seen in the posters and trailers, but they it turned out not to be anywhere near as disconcerting on the big screen. Sure, their nostrils and lip were off-putting, but we eventually got over it and just watched the movie. So, that can be counted as a win for them.

As an action movie, we also have to admit that it delivered. The action sequences were pretty darn cool for the most part, and the “snow team” who worked on the that entire chase/escape sequence deserves some kudos. It was arguably the best scene in the movie. Also, pretty much any sequence where the turtles were sliding around on their backs, in the sewers or on a snowy mountain, was a good one. The CGI was handled really well in those scenes.

Finally, we appreciated that the turtles didn’t completely dominate the heroism. Hapless Vernon Fenwick (Will Arnett), the not-so-willing driver, held his own in all of the happenings. He appeared to be in the movie for the sole purpose of hitting on April and driving her around, but he actually turned out to be useful, saving her life on more than one occasion and contributing to the success of the overall mission. It was nice to see.

What We Didn’t Like:

There is so much to put under the category of things we didn’t like that this section could go on for quite some time, so we’ll restrain ourselves.

One of the major disappointments in this movie was the comedy. It just was not clever. Clearly this was not written with adults in mind. The sexual innuendo and shots of Megan Fox’s butt may attempt to fool you, but don’t get confused. If it were written with any adults in mind, the jokes wouldn’t have been so simple and, frankly, bad. The writing in general was actually pretty bad. The dialogue may have been the worst we’ve seen in a very long time. We got that the turtles were supposed to be teenagers, but they were way beyond childish. The writing for them made us wonder if the writers have ever met actual teenagers. Also, why was Raphael a middle aged black ex-convict? Have you ever met a teenager that walked around wearing a do-rag with a toothpick permanently stationed between his teeth?

We went to see the movie because of the love we both still have for the Ninja Turtles, but the movie didn’t really show the same turtles. Yes, they got the personalities “right” in that Leo was serious, Raph was a hot head, Don was smart, and Mikey was a partier. However, they over-exaggerated those features, making them parodies of themselves. There were also several attempts to cater to the turtles’ older fans with catch phrases like “Cowabunga” and the lame “heroes in a half shell” Arnett makes, but it was all done very poorly.

Finally, the plot was stupid, had several holes, and was entirely predictable. Casting William Fichtner was about as big of a spoiler as casting Sean Bean would have been. He made the big twist able to be seen from a mile away.

Oh, and the acting was pretty, pretty bad. Megan Fox’s scenes mostly involved heavy panting.

2.8

Summary

This movie hit us right in the childhood, and it really hurt. The action scenes were the only thing that made the movie really tolerable. The kids seemed to like it, though, so maybe it’s just for them. It’s just sad to see that this new generation’s Ninja Turtles are so inferior. Then again, we could be blinded by nostalgia. This movie made us question whether the Ninja Turtles were ever really that good at all.

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