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Plot Summary: In the early years of the 20th century, the Kingsman agency is formed to stand against a cabal plotting a war to wipe out millions.

Director: Matthew Vaughn

Writers: Matthew Vaughn and Karl Gajdusek

Runtime: 2 hours 11 minutes

• Ralph Fiennes as Orlando Oxford
• Gemma Arterton as Polly
• Rhys Ifans as Grigori Rasputin
• Harris Dickinson as Conrad Oxford
• Djimon Hounsou as Shola

Review by: Small Couch Reviews

It is our business to know about movie releases. We keep a calendar of the upcoming movies, books, video games, comic books, television shows, and even stage play productions so that we may review them and share our opinion. So, the fact that the third installment of the Kingsman franchise (based on Mark Millar’s fantastic comic series) hit theaters AND streaming platforms without us realizing was not a good sign. At first. we thought maybe it wasn’t marketed well (which its box office numbers suggest), but that doesn’t explain why no one we know- including other movie buffs-had not uttered a word about the film. So we gave it a watch, and it was pretty obvious why this one fell through the cracks.

Normally we divide a review into what we like and did not like, but that’s not going to work for this film. In the end, there is more to dislike than like in this film, but everything is so mediocre that it is difficult to say one aspect was definitively bad while another was definitively good. Remarkably unremarkable is the perfect way to describe “The King’s Man.” It’s just very “meh.”

For background, this film is the 3^rd in the Kingsman movie franchise, all being directed by Matthew Vaughn; however, this one is a prequel taking place during World War 1 that seeks to show the origin of the Kingsman. There is an interesting story somewhere in this movie as it shows how the Kingsman organization participated in and even influenced actual historical events. The issue is the execution is anything but interesting. It takes 41 minutes (and we counted) for the actual Kingsman to even take center stage and thus start the movie. Before then we are shown the very tedious story of a widowed royal (portrayed by Ralph Fiennes) and his constant attempts to prevent his son (portrayed by Harris Dickinson) from entering the war.  To be clear when we say “constant” we mean incessant – there are way too many scenes of them arguing about the merits of war; and, without spoiling, when it ultimately ends with one realizing the other was right in his views, it was completely unsatisfactory and honestly upsetting.

Without taking the time to completely trash the movie just know the acting was fine, but nothing to write home about. The action was okay, but nothing you haven’t seen before and nothing to blow your mind. The actual pacing of the plot (as bad as the plot was) was okay, but the movie was just too long. Seeing a pattern here? Nothing was great but it’s not the worst thing you’ve seen. That would make this a very middle-of-the-pack movie except for the fact that it’s SO BORING. The bad script is what drives it down to from average to mediocre.

If you notice we didn’t really get into the characters because they are all forgettable. The actors did what they could with the script, but at the time of this writing we can’t even remember the main character’s name.